The Spanish way: the queue, the round and the bill, the little codes that catch you out

It isn't the big things that trip up a newcomer in Valencia, it's the small everyday gestures. The tiny codes nobody explains to you, and which, once you've cracked them, make life so much lighter.

The invisible queue: ¿quién es el último?

Forget the neat, orderly line you're used to at home. At the market, the pharmacy or the bakery counter, there's often no visible queue at all. You arrive and you ask the room: ¿quién es el último? (who's last?). Someone raises a hand, you slot in behind them, and then you're free to drift, look at your phone, step outside - as long as you keep track of your one person. It's unsettling the first few times, and then surprisingly civilised: you keep your place without having to stand rigidly in line.

The round: te invito

At the bar, put your calculator away. Often one person pays for everyone with a cheerful te invito (my treat), and it evens out over the following days and weeks. Insisting on splitting the bill to the exact cent is the surest way to look like a killjoy. The rounds system may feel familiar to anyone from a British or Irish pub culture - you let it flow, you get the next one, and it all balances in the end.

The bill and the tip, no stress

Tipping is neither obligatory nor large. You round up, you leave the small change, and nobody guilt-trips you with a suggested percentage or a card machine demanding 20%. If you're coming from the US, where tipping is a heavily loaded ritual, this lightness is a genuine relief. A euro or two on a coffee-and-tapas bill, or rounding up a restaurant total by a few euros, is perfectly generous.

The tempo of the bar

Finally, the rhythm. You usually order at the counter, you pay at the end, and a single caña (a small draught beer) can last an hour with nobody hovering to turn the table. The café or bar isn't a place you pass through: it's a living room. Nursing one drink is not only allowed, it's the whole point.

Pick up these little codes and you'll find you're no longer pretending to belong here - you're actually starting to.